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location:: Home - Avalon, Boston victory-hour:: no😴 pomodoro-blocks:: 3 wake-up:: 11 AM day:: Sunday icon:: 🗓 - **3:06 PM, day. Morning Pages** - Remember: Be an Adult - Hello. Good chill Sunday. - Self Inquiry into family conversation uncovering my own Ignorance collapsed:: true - Speaking on call with #family or #saiefamily still finds me with my energies going haywire. I get fatigued. Maybe it's the unknown. Lack of control. Mistached expectations. Or what not. It's just not a pleasant experience. I keep asking myself - How can I be myself?. I try. But I seem to miss that mark or it is then just what it is. An awkward conversation. Why? Diary - With my family, I can sense that Saie is not in her element. She is formal. Good but formal. Ok. That should raise no alarm. - hm, then why do I have this stance against formality? - I sense lack of connections. But does it have to be deep connection? - It doesn't. Not on a phone call. What if I accept the formality? - Hmm that should work. You see my parents are semi formal too. I assume them to be same as they are with me. Hmm. #meaculpa - Embrace this formality. Remember facts. Yess. Re-reading I was befuddled. Then I discover fact based logic enlightened the space. Hmm. - Is it my own Incompetence that expects the world to be Understanding? #hmm - Maybe. Maybe it's the ==baby me wanting a mother that just KNOWS==. Yes. #boom - Block Reference - All is well. But at these times ==Sid can be an Adult. Embrace the Facts.== - Laying down the facts manifests authority - Yesterday, with @Logan Roy imbibing inside of me, I could sense my #goofiness more clearly as Saie and I roamed around Newbury St. I caught myself a few times - my giggling, smiling and being "nice". In moments of my #draper self, I could gaze the room, catch the eyes, but I could sense my the goofiness and my weakness is percevied by others. It's a #habit - being docile. This is all to Be Dangerous - Why? Because no one would trust a weak ling. - People have sensed the fear. They will trust the one who can be more dangerous than their own fear. #thisisdeep - Let's then Stay on the backfoot. Let's practice being #practice/hyperaware - 🧘 📓 💪 🙆 5 - 7 AM: practice/victoryroutine🌞 - 📓 50 mins Morning Page & Day Plan 🍅🍅 id:: 2c3f72cb-0be4-417d-b521-85848026b855 - 💪 20 mins P/One Rep Max - Deadlift today. 180 lbs. Can go +10 next round - 🙆 5 mins #practice/yoga🙆 - 🧘 5 mins #mooji/5min-immensityofbeing - #practice/Reading📖 Books/Relentless 🍅 -