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title:: The untrained man in me. - has got my awareness. Boston is making it come to light. The unconscious 'daav pech', the dominance status moves are getting caught up lol. I am laughing as I think about it in terms of status. Let's dissect the earlier interaction at Avalon leasing office Context: Sid walks in with Saie to meet peeps at leasing office expecting to be welcomed. And Saie needed to get some prints as well. Sid waves and the leasing staff walks in front. #+BEGIN_QUOTE Sid: Hi! // notices the hurried and get to the point look on the persons' face Sid: I have 2 questions for you... // status move. Sid gets to the business straight away. Hoping to shift his position to high status being deflated by the unexpected response to his Hi. Sid: We are your new tenants. At at apt 3605! So we just wanted to stop by and say hi. // hoping the apt number would click and she would remember the email convos etc. Sid catches the same cold query look and continues. Unwelcome. Sid: Second, we were wondering if there is a way for us to get us some some prints. // Kathleen jumps onto the second question to give info on sending emails for prints. Kept her status high. She deflected the bait to welcome Sid to lower her resistance. Business like Convo continues with Saie. #+END_QUOTE - This has left a bad taste in my mouth. I started dissecting this event putting myself at fault. Calling my own manners in questions. But that bitch was rude. She had a service job. To serve the building people. I walked in expected that and was deflected as unimportant. Low status. Block Reference - At the status level. This rubs the wrong way. I am enraged. At the deepest level I cannot reframe the question. the outcome is the outcome. To be accepted. Yes. - I am reminded that **status is not arbitrary mind fiction that you can just ignore. It is a biological truth like sex**, hmm. I could have conceived this upfront when I started writing this note. There seems to an a resistance in me to accept this. Maybe I am making the same mistake as the Indian society has done by resisting sex and thus turning hypocrite. Hypocrisy. That I can accept in me with status - I want high status but don't want to believe it as a significant need. I know it's a conflict of form. I am confused. - Sid - let's try it out. Self inquiry into high status. I shall cater to this biological need. I have accepted sex as biological. I let it play out in me in 2017 with #bonbon to transcend its grip. Maybe I could do the same with Status. Go all in and live fully high status. Let's find out, and I do believe it now at this moment, high status would lead to surrender. That completes the circle. Just as sex leads to samadhi. And I am reminded: Block Reference Block Reference - The untrained man in me then is one who need train for high status. #boom