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title:: P/Rules of the Game icon:: 🌹 type:: project status:: active sort-key:: 2022.11 start:: Jun 11th, 2022 estimated-end:: Nov 20th, 2022 next-action:: Read Day 9 from the book - ### Next Action - TODO read few chapters and create action plan - TODO Think of involving Saie here hmm. - TODO Block Reference id:: 62d2385c-3ec6-40d4-b945-be73dfc7d403 - ### Timeline - Jul 17th, 2022 collapsed:: true - DOING Day 3 Mission: Untidy and Phone Calls id:: 62d39513-d9e2-430f-b4ab-6127d1d76b9f - delegate: Jul 20th, 2022 - Voice Training collapsed:: true -  - 10 feet above -  -  -  - - Jul 16th, 2022 collapsed:: true - From morning pages this morning Block Reference - I have failing to complete Day 2 mission since the restart. It was accomplished today. Then I learned to Smile - DONE Day 2 Mission: Look into their eyes id:: 62d352b8-c328-4077-adf5-9b71fd951dce :LOGBOOK: CLOCK: [2022-06-11 Sat 14:10:24] CLOCK: [2022-06-11 Sat 14:10:25]--[2022-06-20 Mon 08:15:03] => 210:04:38 CLOCK: [2022-07-09 Sat 16:33:01] :END: - In the first small-talk exercise, the purpose was to develop the ability to talk to anyone without fear. Meeting people eye to eye (being careful not to stare) will not only increase the likelihood of a response, it’ll help you connect with them on a more personal level. extra-credit exercise: Try to hail a cab, get a bartender’s attention, or call a waiter to your table without speaking or gesturing—instead, use nothing but eye contact. - I forced myself to getup and timboxed this mission to 2 pomodoros - 1 hour. Walking around #Places/Manhattan West. This helped get unstuck and finish this mission in 25 minutes. This moved fast that I took the walk. Not the best of mission. But got 4 in 15 minutes. After just 2 conversation, both awkward and weird, I decide to **Follow the #fivesecondrule** and also realized that "I feel already more open after 2 openings even when they were awkward and disastrous". Each open boosts your confidence. It changes you. Maybe 🤔 serotonin is released or maybe you open up - and non closed posture makes social interactions easier This mission helped me with a profound lession: - Conversation 1: Chinky kids. "Did he faint studying" collapsed:: true - Felt Awkward. Broke the ice by speaking with 2 young blokes at the public take. Could hardly see eyes. Chinki Eyes - Black I think. - Conversation 2: Old lady with dog on the street. He looks seuoritly engaged" collapsed:: true - Felt weird. About dog looking at a pole. Old lady seemed to feel seaward Eyes - lightish.. Can’t tell color - Conversation 3 - asking about electric bike old guy collapsed:: true - Inquired about bike. Spoke for about 3-5 minutes. Also had wife. Could see the eyes of his wife clearly Eye Color - Blue. Yeah. White woman blue m Got engaging Convo going but I think I may have murdered the ending - Conversation 4- security guard. "Is everyone behaving themselves?" collapsed:: true - Black guy Black eyes - Conversation 5 - dog girl. "He doesn’t wanna go home." #fivesecondrule, 5 second convo. - Bonus: Went back to chinky guy. Good kid. collapsed:: true - Had a great convo id:: 62d4564a-d416-47a1-84a1-1998689c9bfe His job was counting people coming into courtyard - $18 hr Spoke for 10 minutes CS 18 year old - Jul 15th, 2022 collapsed:: true - #Failed Day 2 Mission: Look into their eyes - id:: 62d35773-0194-49d9-969b-e4faee1172ac - Well at nyc bars. You just see the hurdle. More like a cultural wall. You are not a social white boy or an somebody already on the inside. Hmm. Maybe I’m wrong. Now that I said that. Already on the inside. That the key. It’s the feeling of outsider in this context that low status boom. I got this. I have high status. Fuck the limiting belief. Strike the shepherd. Strike your weakness Remove the easterness. The anger. The growl. The roughness. Scruby. Be smooth.. Read the last toe words again. Sometimes I wonder how any body, saie, even likes me. The ajajme. Precisely she doesn’t. She knows me more than I do. Infact, She despises the ajaj. Hmm. - Next bar - hell vs heaven. Best bartender dude . Next people. I might cry. How to makes you feel calm. Belong. Hmm. ==Key: belong== **Sid could do that in every conversation with other - make them feel belong.** - Jul 9th, 2022 collapsed:: true - restart - Jun 13th, 2022 - Jun 26th, 2021 collapsed:: true - break; @saie in town - Jun 11th, 2022 collapsed:: true - DONE Day 1 Mission: Your first field assignment: Make small talk with five strangers Jun 11th, 2022 . id:: 62a4cb57-acc3-4378-be9f-70653e130ade collapsed:: true :LOGBOOK: CLOCK: [2022-06-11 Sat 07:45:02]--[2022-06-11 Sat 14:10:10] => 06:25:08 :END: - The goal is simply to start a conversation, with no intent other than filling in the silence with a question or pleasantry. - Small talk 1 and 2 in under 5 minutes of getting out of the house. - Good thing that this mission is making me stay longer at the coffee shop. I am enjoying the time with purpose while also getting things done. - Small talk 1 - Building concierge guy at the door. How are you. Weather cloudy. - Small talk 2 - Coffee shop girl outdoors. Entering coffee shop dilemma to sit outside or inside. She seemed charmed to have helped me out. - Small talk 3 - Couple next coffee table. You from new york? Found boston connection. Also feeling more **confident with small talks after just flipping it out like this** - Small talk 4 - 3 set old Russian ladies next table. You speaking Russian? Yeah. Talked yoga stuff. She was hearing and noticing me as she must have overheard my convo with Saie and Pari on yoga. People watch people. People notice people. People position people in the dominance hierarchy. Hm. - The **group said pleasant good buy and good luck as they left the table. So my #limitingbelief that strangers repulse me is not true.** I get taste more serotonin flowing after this. Nice. - Small talk 5 - Building gym guy. What's cooking. Dominated. Name? Ricky... Ricky martin? Last name... raghunath. Indian origin. I am confident. - Extra Credit - Small talk 6 - Elevator. All groceries. Felt a little faux pas as I commented "all groceries". White people hold their dominance. I think I recovered well by stating the weekend. **Lesson though here is to watch out for serotonin spike that manifests as putting others down with small talks.** Others will, consciously or unconsciously, punch you back to maintain their higher status. **The goal is not to pick status fight** id:: 62a4d7a4-e493-43d0-9484-63d72d4c6af3 - init - ### Outcome Visioning - I have the social skills for small talk interactions. I can open sets with ease. I have my trusted stack of openers and routines that becomes second nature. I articulate and talk better. I be my best magnetic self. - {{embed Block Reference}} - {{embed Block Reference}} - ### Notes - Random small talk observations collapsed:: true - Even when I feel the small talk started awkward. Because maybe the person felt it a little. With smile and ice broken. They themselves talk back to me. They then embrace my presence and validate back my belongingness. Just now, Jul 17th, 2022, I asked the lady if I could say hi to the baby. 20 second talk then - 2 month etc. then when she left. She bid goodbye - enjoy your coffee. That was acknowledgement. - Started this project as I internalized and fully felt the social awkwardness in me in the social setting last night at Bella Union with @Leo G Jun 11th, 2022 - The feeling of lacking. When you wanna chat you say dumb and awkwardly boring thing, and you know that. So you prefer to rather be quite. You judge others being themselves because you can’t. Lacking the skills in hyper social settings you find your mind making you anti social as it finds escapes. There were Limiting Beliefs that overtook me. - It’s a game you can learn to play in social settings. A setting that demands talking to strangers without reason or pre calibrated status. - Block Reference - ### Resources - # show your depth