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title:: Books/Games People Play
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- Social intercourse
- stimulus-hunger
- recognition-hunger
- Stroking
collapsed:: true
- “stroking” may be employed colloquially to denote any act implying recognition of another’s presence. Hence a stroke may be used as the fundamental unit of social action.
- An exchange of strokes constitutes a transaction, which is the unit of social intercourse.
- Progum
- Time structuring
collapsed:: true
- After stimulus-hunger and recognition-hunger comes structure-hunger.
- The eternal problem of the human being is how to structure his waking hours. In this existential sense, the function of all social living is to lend mutual assistance for this project.
- Structure-hunger has the same survival value as stimulus-hunger.
- If it persists for any length of time, boredom becomes synonymous with emotional starvation and can have the same consequences.
- The solitary individual can structure time in two ways: activity and fantasy.
- Experience has shown that it is more useful and enlightening to investigate social transactions from the point of view of the advantages gained than to treat them as defensive operations. In the first place, the best defense is to engage in no transactions at all; in the second place, the concept of “defenses” covers only part of the first two classes of advantages, and the rest of them, together with the third and fourth classes, are lost to this point of view.
- For further information about time-structuring, the author’s book on group dynamics should be consulted.12
- Games
collapsed:: true
- Because there is so little opportunity for intimacy in daily life, and because some forms of intimacy (especially if intense) are psychologically impossible for most people, the bulk of the time in serious social life is taken up with playing games.
- they serve to fill in the time while he waits for the final fulfillment,
- Advantage
- Biological homeostasis is promoted by the stroking, and psychological stability is reinforced by the confirmation of position.
- In tactile terms, in tactile terms. Thus the husband’s role in IWFY is reminiscent of a backhanded slap. and the wife’s response is something like a petulant kick in the shins.
- Hence the biological gain from IWFY is derived from belligerence-petulance exchanges: a distressing but apparently effective way to maintain the health of nervous tissues.
- Confirmation of the wife’s position—“All men are tyrants”—is the existential advantage.
- This position is a reaction to the need to surrender that is inherent in the phobias, a demonstration of the coherent structure which underlies all games. The expanded statement would be: “If I went out alone in a crowd, I would be overcome by the temptation to surrender; at home I don’t surrender: he forces me, which proves that all men are tyrants.” Hence this game is commonly played by women who suffer from feelings of unreality, which signifies their difficulty in keeping the Adult in charge in situations of strong temptation.
- - Life Games
- Alcoholic
- Now I’ve Got You, You Son of a Bitch
- Advantages: (1) Internal Psychological—justification for rage. (2) External Psychological—avoids confrontation of own deficiencies. (3) Internal Social—NIGYSOB. (4) External Social—they’re always out to get you. (5) Biological—belligerent exchanges, usually ipsisexual. (6) Existential—people can’t be trusted.
id:: 63151144-52b0-41cf-bc70-2a5a8bd9724b
- - Highlights
- “If you are not stroked, your spinal cord will shrivel up.”
- Pastimes and games are substitutes for the real living of real intimacy.
- A confirmation of structural analysis is seen in the results of alcohol intoxication. Usually this decommissions the Parent first, so that the adapted Child is freed of the Parental influence, and is transformed by release into the natural Child.
- Secondly, it makes many responses automatic, which conserves a great deal of time and energy. Many things are done because “That’s the way it’s done.” This frees the Adult from the necessity of making innumerable trivial decisions, so that it can devote itself to more important issues, leaving routine matters to the Parent.
- parent is the system
adult - refactoring of the stem
child - innovation and chaos monkey
the preserver
the creator
the destroyer
- If the Child ego state can be revived in the grown-up player, the psychological aptitude of this segment (the Adult aspect of the Child ego state) is so striking, and its skill in manipulating people so enviable, that it is colloquially called “The Professor” (of Psychiatry). Hence in psychotherapy groups which concentrate on game analysis, one of the more sophisticated procedures is the search for the little “Professor” in each patient.
id:: 63123820-886f-4620-a160-3e99964bf4b4