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location:: Home - Avalon 2, Boston victory-hour:: pomodoro-blocks:: wake-up:: day:: icon:: 🌟🌟 next:: - ## 11:20 AM #log🪵/ShutterUp🔓 - 🟪 *11:20 - 2 PM*: **2H** Misc Time - P/Lightology call prep - Arghh.. why does Matt go in so many rabbit holes @matt alioto - P/Lightology call - #argh, I am irked. Is it me or @matt alioto - like him and lightology team arghh. - 🛏 😴 #powernap20😴 ah this felt so good. - 🌟 🟩 *4:30 - 6 PM*: **3H** Focus Time 🍅🍅🍅 - 🖥 P/Writing Expertise **Day 10** collapsed:: true - OMG the exercise below when the lead line hit me after 15 min of pause; It hit home. - Block Reference - Good lead. But I couldn't get through the letter. This was a #strugglesession. Will come revisit tomorrow. I see how I need ot get into a character who is really speaking to get the writing out. - Working with Alioto #selfinquiry {{renderer :wordcount_}} collapsed:: true - What happened? collapsed:: true - the lt call, I feel v tired, exhausted, not able to hold the narrative - we seem unaligned; just technically not on the same page... not on the same page - so I had to jump in share my screen I didn't really plan to do, but I figure that's not aligned with his frame of thinking - and we don't work as team. He would **second guess** me. Because he second guesses himself. - I am so irked by his feedback, reaction and overall behavior that I am relishing at the though of dropping of lighto project; fuck em; You come to me for help. - He doesn't appreciate my status as a team but only as other; for he has no status - Hmm deep holes. But let's laer focus on what happened on the call so I can learn something about myself; collapsed:: true - I joined while Gerg was speaking; not aligned with 3 POCs but confused of visual seach and tyring to tie loose ends - I jump in and share the screen to ground the convo; - this confuses some of as the picutre takes time to absorb; and most guys are not technical. Glassy eyes; Matt feels the same - Takes 20 mins to get back to POCs 1 2 and 3 - We help Richard understand visual search - even this convo took 10 minutes that it shouldn't confused about hotspot and Matt jumpin and putting energy where I felt he didn't have to - At this point I am concerned about their internal alignment - as Arielle and Richard seems to have not discussed this before - Then we get back to POC questions and what we can deliver. They want to know cost, but we couldn't give an answer. WE circled adround the confusion of firsdt quote vs overtall cost etc. Greg jump into post POC quesiton - we didn' thave an asnwer for him. I tell him we will have fixes retainer and good cost. - WE stumble into integeation vs API question. We didn't have a good answer. We could have simply said - yes API - all good; we host you pay. - Arielle throws in tangent design product discussion that leads no where. Seems a topic that full group is not interested in and is something that required more substance. More study. - Arsen quesiton is handeld well. We host in cloud. We tell them it's GPU etc - thus we own the hosting - Come back to key question on POC cost - we don't answer clearly. Still vague numbers go around and we close the call with something about internal review and followup. - Ok. I see Matt's strategy. Maybe I am not aligned with his vagueness. I wanted clarity and decision both for us and for them. **This another reivew and another call is what irks me**. Right. - I should have asked - 'what else would you need to make a decision?' - I coudl had also stayed back and let Matt drive and observe. Arghh. #meaculpa. - I will give him another chance. I take this fallout on me. But I am not happy about the lack of prep on our end. **We should give them buttons to press with a timer - they do or they don't.** We get clarity. - We should have stuck to our GUNS and build more. Liek a constitution. And keep revisiting those. - The demo - The document - the clear plan - In a nutshell, I am struggling with ambiguity. - I don't know what I could right now other than just absorb this bitter pill and stay aware in future. The deep annoyance doen't go away. - Something hurt my status? YES. See. This makes it hard. I lowered it and then I felt trapped and couldn't recover. **I was at the mercy**. I let others judge me. - Wait - this is same feeling as I had at #Compass. Man those debriefs. It was learning, right? IT really hurt. Hmmm. Arghh. - What did I learn at Compass after the debrief with wes? Feeling foolish and small. - I was approaching the problem in correctly. I had a low tech guy for manager role. And they ripped them apart. I took it personally. But my problem was differnt. I wanted to hire my way. Adn I got puched for not being abel to mange the interview cnadidates. ANd who the fuck was he to tell me this or that? He should just be doing his job. What I ask him to do. But that's not the case. What did I learn? How would I do it now? - Maybe a bit more diplomaticly? Have either a screen done by someone else? If liek someone, fovus on interview panel , not inlcude these naysayers. Eliminate the issues. I will eliminate the issue rather than fight it. Hmm. yeah, this is wat not a learning experiencew in a way as to how to leanr to manage - MORE about - EXACTLY WHAT I DON:T want to LEARN. - YES. Taht's it. This is not leanring hurt. This is WRONG POSITION. #boom. - This is that job in deli at RIT. - So back to Matt. He has gaps and I had to fill. That pushed into the arena. - - - Writing Plan collapsed:: true - id:: 65ca3c40-3c7f-4000-814b-845319724bd3 1. What Am I Really Trying To Say - Matt is making me do the grunt work; I jumped into the fight without prep. - 2. Why Should People Care - We all could be unaware of the gaps we fill in with people around us - 3. What Is The Most Important Point - Litmus test - some learning experiences are not really learning experience but a wrong class. Avoid them. They create doubt Not learning. Litmus test - depth of pain; did you fight the right fight? did you learn anything? - 4. What Is The Easiest Way To Understand The Most Important Point - Some learning experiences are to be avoided - 5. How Do I Want The Reader To Feel - 'hmm sahi bola'.. - 6. What Should The Reader Do Next - Self reflect; See what battles they are engaged in that is not theirs - - Letters/Working with Alioto - - 🟪 *6 - 7 PM*: **3H** Misc Time - callwithercan📞 - ## 7 PM #log🪵/ShutterDown🔐 - Damn that @Valdimir Putin interview with @Tucker Carlson. This might just change the world and the United States for ever. - ❌ Every Day Kaizen & log🪵/practice - CANCELED practice/victoryroutine🌞 - DONE practice/30Under30 - - TODO practice/movement🚶 - TODO practice/breathing👃 - TODO practice/meditation🧘 - TODO practice/drishti - TODO practice/Reading📖 - TODO practice/coding🧑💻 - TODO practice/2WW💪 - 🌟️ Daily 5 - email josh ✅