Error converting content: marked is not a function
location:: Home - Avalon, Boston victory-hour:: pomodoro-blocks:: wake-up:: day:: icon:: 📅🗓⚡️🌟🌟🌟🌟 - My Daily Mantra: Vachan - I will not argue with other. I will not judge others - **08:26 AM, day. Morning Pages** - Remember: No Rush, Love is the Law of Land - Feeling good. Like I should. Removing the daily, routinely, systematic obligation of couting starts and guilt trips - nah, fuck that. Let's have it come to me. You see in #systemvsgoals, the system ought to be SIMPLE and most flexible. Hmm. Just zeros and ones. #0and1 - - How can I not worry? #selfinquiry - There are things I want to happen. Decisions. So I make other decisions pending on it hmm - I feel uncertain. Sometimes it’s scary as certain results like not having a job has life altering consequences - I need need to get a job. That I should do. That’s in my control - sort of. At least I can put effort. Well, I have applied. Market is bad bad. - Eb1 decision is killing me. Excruciating the wait time. Got RFE. Days wasted. Don’t have concrete report why. Wouldn’t that drive you nuts? - Feel like things are unresolved. Reminds me of little dragon. Haath par haath dale kaise baithe rahen? - Kya karna chahiye? - Get a job offer in hand. Hm. Been trying for 6 month. Really. Will try harder now. Go aggressive. Maybe Sven not make certain decision is killing. Also I have 3 months severance so I don’t really have a problem for 4 months… hmm. Somehow it still anxiety driven state. What if what if. - Ok. So ok with job? What next? - Eb1 - taking its course? Yes.. I need to see the rfe report. Nothing I can do. Already pinged Martyna and she emailed uscis. Hm. - Then kickstarting company - trial and error.. yes, now we got Rajan, and I’m onboarding Gabi. Hmm. I find it hard to get coding done or complete projects or actually out time. Very good at delegating. Maybe then I leverage my strength. Then being the CEO is the best thing. I can hold accountable, motivate, set direction, make major decisions - So what is the problem? Hmm - Uncertain future hmm. Yes - With job, new company, eb1. Future is unknown. Anything can happens. It’s the opposite of stable job where I am bound to routine - their time table - at least I know what I would be doing next week. Hmm. Wow - Is it freedom that’s bothering me then? - Maybe it’s the tiredness. I feel tired and not wanting to work when I have to. Motivated otherwise lol. hmm. - Maybe I need to structure work. Hm. Roadmap. Create projects and move on. Don’t decide everyday! - I guess I’m distracted! #boom - We need to bring back the focus. Have a roadmap session with Ercan and Rajan and Gabi. Put a plan in place and stick to it. Yess. This is a leadership problem. A lack of direction. And Ercan isn’t able to bring the entire project to completion without help. - Come to think about it. This was gonna happen already. I was just taking my time. Would have done it tomorrow or day after. With Sid, Gabi, Ercan, Rajan and Jill. We are a team of 5! My god. Isn’t that a dream! - I just didn’t know this consciously. I wasn’t trusting myself or universe hmmm. Why? - It’s how I felt. Who felt it? - It was just happening. - This feeling of “having problems” “uncertain whatever” seems to take shape and have identity of its own hm. - Then I have unresolved fight with my brother Manish. Parent part of it. Something about my mother and her feelings have been haunting me. They seem happy. Not Deeply happy. - I need to let go. Let this be the last pang of my ego. It’s listening to me right now. And now it’s gone. Hmm. - Then, I must continue to let go. Hm. Allow myself to find out. Not get addicted to identity hmm. Twitter hooks identity in a way when I feel fomo on ai - Stay here